Monday, 9 February 2015

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." ~ Maya Angelou

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."

"Everyone has that friend who's every day, like, 'I hate my nose, I hate my nose, I hate my nose.' You either need to come to peace with it and be like, alright, I hate it, but it's part of me - or change it. So I'm not against plastic surgery, I'm against plastic surgery when it doesn't really need to be done."

Today I've been thinking about Change and how it effects mental health. I have anxiety and depression and with changes happening in my life right now - I'm not going to lie, I am freaking out just a little! 

In 3 weeks I'll be starting University again. I'm going to get my BA in English Literature. I've been working on it since the middle of 2008 when I first moved here. (I've been working on my mental health a little longer than that again).

Change is hard. It's not something that is just accepted. It takes time to get your head around. The minute details become big. The big picture shrinks away and doesn't seem so important any more.
At least that's how it is for me. I've been working on it by thinking positively - for every negative thought trying to counter balance it with a couple of positives.

I'm scared I'll fail my first paper - I have support in place - I have a friend in the class already, I can talk to her about my concerns and worries. I also have support from the Disabilities Coordinators - if I really need I can get someone to help write notes, or help me go over class lessons sat.

I'm scared I'll bum out on my exam/s, when I have to sit them. (There's no exam in this paper, it's all essays and in class [tutorial] assignments.) - Exams are scary for many people, some of us just freak out over them, that doesn't make me a bad student. That doesn't mean I'll fail. I just need to work hard. Talking to my lecturer and tutor about exam techniques will help. I can also talk to the Disability coordinator to get the exam setting set up so I can excel my exam/s.

Hard work and perseverance will get me through.
It is like my nail biting - constant work... and thinking and doing. 
Everything will workout. In 5 years after I've graduated it won't even matter how nervous I felt before the exams. Those essays won't matter. In the meantime I need to do my best and pass these final 6 papers.

I am awesome. 
I can do this. 
I will succeed!