Just some things I'm really proud of...

This week I have been thinking about the things I'm proud of and I came to the conclusion that I don't just have one thing, so here's my round up of things I'm proud of...

In no particular order -

1. Proposing to Daniel my darling fiance and husband to be. And reaching our 5 year anniversary is another thing I'm proud of too! It's the longest relationship either of us have had and we have both grown a lot in the past 5 years. I'm really proud of what Dan has achieved with work, travel (for work and with me) and just being together.

The ring is engraved and says "Will you marry me?"

He said Yes!

Here we are with our flatmate Loren - photographed by Gareth from Duo Photography -

2. Making a future for myself and sticking with study, even through the tough times, illness and failures. Everything has helped build me up to be the woman I am today. 

In under six months I'll be all done with study and exams... And in less than a year I'll be walking across the stage at Graduation!

3. My nails - just having long nails and going to see my nail lady Serenity every month - has filled me with pride. I used to be a chronic nail biter from anxiety.  

 

4. Furthering my skills through online courses and courses from the university - just creating a better future for myself. To be doing what I love and learning lots every chance I get is amazing.
Recently I completed a few courses over the break from uni with Shaw Academy for Blogging and Content Marketing; learning how to be a Celebrity Fashion Stylist and Event Planning courses through Skill Success.
These cheaply found courses online have helped me to develop skills I didn't know I had to make me a more employable person. I've decided that Fashion Styling isn't for me, but the skills I've gained in learning how to tape shoes and such skills I've learned from these courses may be beneficial in future.

5. Working through my Anxiety and Depression and finding an awesome counsellor and doctor who helped me work through and learn techniques to help me control my panic attacks and keep calmer in exams. I must be doing a great job of it because I sat two exams recently without fear and without having any panicky feelings. So I'm really proud of myself for pushing through the tough times and persevering! I'm also really thankful and grateful for Daniel sticking by me throughout all these times, the good and the bad.

6. Having friends, family and flatmates who are there for me when I need them, and when they need me. They know who they are.

Until next week,
xo, Lisa.

Learning and Educational opportunities.

This year is my final year at university and as I get ever closer to graduation and my final two papers being done. I realise that Education, and learning for that matter, is an every day occurrence both in and out of the classroom.

For me learning is about gaining knowledge and is a skill that many possess but not many actually take advantage of. For me I am always on the lookout for skills and try and learn new skills through courses and online classes. I enjoy being in the classroom but I also enjoy working through things at my own pace.

I have been taking some online classes recently in Event Planning, learning skills to be a Fashion Stylist, and furthering my skills as a Blogger, Photographer and individual.
I hope to be able to apply the skills learned to my life now and in the future as an educator and teacher for ESOL students. I find vouchers online from sites such as GrabOne for educational opportunities which I take on. I've also done a 140 hour ESL teaching certificate through them too.

One of the difficulties I face is in organisation of actually getting work done when I work from home. Because I often find other jobs to complete before I allow myself to really get into study and get the course work done. When I'm on campus and working in a lecture theatre I'm more organised because I can attend at the lecture and tutorial times which are pre-set by the university. When I'm working from home I have to really work to schedule these work and study times or I can easily stay distracted all day or just not work on the things I'm meant to be doing.

Today for example instead of studying for my online courses I vacuumed the house and made dinner and extra food. I tidied up. I did a bunch of cleaning that needed to be done.

And I didn't get my work done for study.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that some days just getting out of bed and breathing is a big achievement for the day.

I hope to report back with the good news of completing assignments for my courses and that I've been awarded the certificates soon...

Until next week,
xo, Lisa.

A check in and some new things in the works!

Back on January 4th 2016 I wrote this post and highlighted these goals - 

1. To finish my final 5 papers for my final year of study at VUW. I'm enrolled in a paper for summer which starts tomorrow - I'm excited and nervous to get these final 5 papers done. - I don't know what 2017 will bring - uni will be done and I'll be working!?

2. To lose weight, and this isn't a generic "I'll lose weight because it's New Years" thing, I'm serious.

3. To actually push myself creatively - writing blog posts, photographing for my Instagram, making YouTube videos? Actually doing things regularly to get my creative juices flowing.

And the usual New Years Goals:

• have fun, 
• keep growing my nails out, (2015 and prior every year it was hard to stop biting nails, counseling helped on this one!)
• exploring more of the city,
• learning new skills,
• and learning new things.

Well, now for an update - 

1. I've just done both the exams for my first two papers and I'm waiting patiently on the results from those and my course overall.
Oh! And I talked to my course advisor who has said I only need to do 4 papers this year, so the compulsory English 201 paper, then one from English 300-399, one from English 300-329 and another Religion paper... and then I can have a double major for my BA in English Literature and Religious Studies!
And in my exams, yes there were two! I didn't have any anxiety problems, no panic attacks or fear during the exam. I kept calm and got it done. (Go me!)

2. I haven't been doing much actively towards this goal, because of having a possible Morton's Neuroma in my toes diagnosed. I'll write a longer blog post about that later.

3. I've currently got 3 weeks off between exams ending and term 2 starting, so I've signed up to THREE online courses and I hope to upskill myself by doing those. They are in -
- Fashion stylist
-Blogging
-Event Planner

My nails still look awesome, although no photo as the polish needs replacing, my appointment is in a week, so I'll do a post about them later too.

I haven't been exploring more of the city recently at all. I really should do it more.

As for learning - see above with the online courses.

I feel like this post is more of an update kind of one, but that's okay. Sometimes we just need to check in and see how things are going.

Until next week,
XO, Lisa.

Dan is 29 and other thoughts about growing up.

This past week has been one of fun, mundane day to day life of a university student - filled with reading, studying, classes and tutorials... The usual really. And Dan had his birthday on Thursday the 17th march. Yes, Saint Patrick's day.

I tried to trick him into thinking we were going for a romantic dinner date, but in reality I had been planning with friends to meet up and go to a local restaurant with a bunch of our friends!

 On the night of, I showered, got dressed and put make-up on, anyone who knows me well knows I don't wear make-up! Anyway, we were all ready to go, and I was refusing to order the Uber, until I got a text back. Dan thought this was suspicious.

Anyway, a few minutes passed, we were getting later, and by then it was well past the time I'd said we needed to leave by - and Dan saw I wasn't freaking out. (I have anxiety and will often freak out over what seem's like 'nothing'). So got the awaited for text, ordered the Uber, and left for the restaurant. 

                                                    

                                                     Dan all dressed up, looking flash!

Dan had no idea where we were going. 

Thankfully also the Uber driver dropped us off at a side street, not right outside, so we had to walk a little bit to get to the place. When we arrived he spotted the restaurant and knew where we were going. What he didn't expect was the group of people at the table waiting for us! 

Thank again to our friends for keeping the secret from him, and not ruining the surprise!

Dan's 29 now and we're thinking about how our 30's will be different. 

Here's some photos of our dinner and friends - 

Fiancé Dan looking dapper in his suit.

Me and our friends - Mark, me, Tim, Chris, Loren and Thomas

James, (Helen obscured), Dan B and Mike.

Us again with friends and the birthday boy/fiancé himself!


Dan and I were also talking about how turning 30 seems to be grown up. I was saying that we're growing up anyway - we're engaged now and have a wedding on the table in a couple of years time... I've got this year left of study and then I'll be entering the workforce again too.
We also have parties to plan for the wedding and stuff too, like the upcoming engagement party in July. I feel like I've taken on a lot of 'stuff' to get these organised, but it's also not all on me to do so. I have to let things go and delegate more often, and I find that difficult because I like to be fiercely independent and do it myself and I have come to realise that I can't do everything alone. It's a team effort. I'm going to write another post about this in more detail - next week.

The text I was waiting for was from Thomas (one of our flatmates) who had gone ahead with Loren (our other cool flatmate) to check out the first place's seating arrangement and to see if we could all fit. Original plan was to go to The Ramen Shop in Newtown Wellington, but apparently (according to Thomas and Loren) the seating isn't great in there, and they don't take bookings. So we ended up changing locations at -literally- the last minute to ensure we could all fit together! That's why I was waiting on his text message to see where I needed to tell our Uber driver to go. 

Until next week, 

xo Lisa.

University and College Life Simplified

Back when I was a young first year starting at Victoria University for the first time I had been flatting for about 18 months prior to changing locale and moving to the big smoke of Wellington City. There I met Neil (a great friend even today, 7.5 years on).

Yes, 7.5 years ago I moved to Wellington. Today's post is focused on what I've learned during my time studying and will focus on campus life.
As a side note, I never stayed in a dorm/ hall so I have no idea what they are like.

My top 10 things to know about moving and living the university/college life.

1. You'll meet heaps of new people. Don't worry about making too many friends. I aim to have one or two people in each class I meet through the Tutorials we have to attend. This way I have one or two people I can sit by in the lectures and in the tutorials and actually get to know.
There may be literally hundreds of people in your lectures in first year, so it's crazy to think you'll know all their names at the end of the 12 week course. (Even your professors and tutors don't know everyone's names in that time period!)

2. Think about what you're taking with you to move, now halve it.
You really only need a few things while you're studying: 

a. A place to sleep (aka a bed). I had a mattress on the floor of my flat and did fine. Stack two on top of each other, or seriously invest in a bed base, your spine will thank you for it.

b. a Desk or Table to study at. I honestly used the dining table in one flat.

c. Flatmates or roommates to share the costs. It is very expensive to live alone. Get friends in to help financially. More people generally means the costs will be cheaper, but see what you can handle. I've lived with just the 1 flatmate and in larger places with up to 5 others. My fiance lived in a large house with 9 people in it! (That was too large, too loud and way too dysfunctional for me).

d. A little money and the ability to Budget - Budget really well... 
First take out how much your rent is.
Then your estimated bills (power, internet and cell phone all have monthly charges. Work these out and save up for when the bills come in).
Then anything else: food.
Then save the rest for a Rainy Day Fund,
Then some (if there's any left) for partying, drinking and anything you want for entertainment.

I decided that paying rent, bills and food were my three most important things. Some months I had very little food money left so I would talk to my Student Advisors on campus and pick up a Food Bank Parcel for that month. I didn't go to a movie at the cinema for over two years at one stage, just because I was saving and living pay-check to pay-check. Not ideal. So on that note: Always, Always have a "rainy day fund" stashed away, and for this I do not mean Movie or Coffee or Date Night, I mean for the times you're so sick you need to see a doctor*.

3.  Changes with friendships:
Your old friends from school may leave your life as you move into campus and study mode, and that's okay. Their lives are changing too. They may also be really special and stay around even if you're in separate places and living different lives.

4. You'll grow up.
You'll learn a lot of new things in classes.
You'll also learn to be a functioning adult able to budget and pay bills.
Look at you being all adult and adulting all over the place!

5. You might fall in love. 
Life will be sunshine and rainbows and 24/7 happiness.
It may be a long lasting romance, or a summertime fling.

6. And out of love. 
Or lose someone you were close to.
You soon realise that life is not always sunshine and happiness.

7. You may find a job you're only doing for the pay, or to get to know that cute person better, or to learn new skills. You'll probably have fun there and no adult job after you finish studying will quite be the same. You'll also appreciate how much your family did for you to help get you to where you are now.

8. At the end of your degree you'll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about when you first started. 
Everyone's scared of doing new things.
Everyone's afraid of failure.
You're also not everyone, because you're here and giving it a go, no matter how scared you feel.
Life has up's and down's, and part of college life is learning to embrace them, and learning to accept changes. If you're having a bad time emotionally, please seek the advice of the counsellors available to students on campus*.

9. Everyone started in the same place - Your professors were once first years, nervous and timid on their first day too. Some of them even feel first day jitters even now years and years on. Treat everyone as equal to you. You never know if they will be your future boss, or you could be their future boss! Literally everyone started at the bottom and worked their way up through life to get to where they are today.

10. Encourage your fellow students, and citizens of the city you're in. 
The students at least are feeling the same things you are - homesickness, they're nervous about getting lost, they're scared they will fail the upcoming assignment/ test/ exam... they're scared they're not good enough to be here. Everyone gets these feelings. It's normal.
Over time it gets easier. In the second trimester/semester onwards life on campus got easier. I didn't feel lost, I could (kind of) get my way around campus, and people would ask *me* for directions on the street in town.

* Some campus' have FREE medical services for students. See if your campus offers this. 

Hopefully these 10 points have helped a little. I think this year I'm going to try and write more about self-help type topics as well as keeping up with my usual random ramblings each week. I also want to know what YOU think. I've created a quick survey HERE which shouldn't take too long. 
I'd love to hear your FEEDBACK! 

Until next time,
xx. Lisa.

January is half gone, what?

Hello dearest reader, first up where, oh where has 2016 gone? It feels like yesterday that the new year was just starting and already summer school is a third of the way done! (Closer to half nearly). 

I've completed two of the assignments already and I have three more to go, two of which are essays which I'm not looking forward to so much! That said the assignments so far haven't been too disastrous and I've kept on top of things getting them done on time and handed in quickly. 

We will see how that continues for this year. 

I met with the Wizard aka Kate from the department of Humanities at VUW and she's awesome and said I'm well on my way to seeing a May 2017 graduation. So that's my new aim is to complete these final five papers and get that sorted. I had been told previously that I needed to do a 100 level English Literature paper to make up the 2 points I had been missing; but Kate assured me that this isn't the case! So I can do the three English papers I need for the requirements and then can choose either another English paper of 20 points or I can switch to any 15 point paper. So far I think I'll stick with that English one but I'll reassess how I feel about this at the end of the first trimester, when I've done two of the three required papers.   

Something I love about studying over summer is that there's so few students around which means that there's more car parking available - if only I had a car! - and there's fewer people on campus. The lecture sizes are also smaller and that means more one on one tutor time, or lecturer time. The lecturers and tutors do feel more rushed though as they push a whopping twelve week course into a compact six week course. The downside to this is also that on days like today it is sunshiny and hot out and I'd much rather be at the beach but alas I'm in a classroom (or in my office at home doing homework assignments). I guess it's good though because I won't be getting into and out of study mode so much which means my brain is always switched into study mode and I'm not lazy about references and citations. 

I am nearing the end of all of my study though and I'm kind of facing that I want to just stop studying for a while mode. (Not good!) So hopefully the classes keep my attention long enough to finish everything and things will continue to be good this year. 

Now bring on studylink and funded study.

xx. Until next time, Lisa.

Social media

Lately I've been watching a lot of Youtube videos, as well as uploading many photos to Instagram. Anything to distract myself from doing my summer school assignments, oh yes!

I haven't been the best so far this year at being on top of everything I'm supposed to be doing. I'm already behind on blog posts, my YouTube channel and filming has stopped. Something had to give! I'm also super thankful that Daniel agreed to having a long engagement, there's no way I could be doing all of this and planning a wedding as well! (Ask me nearer to the end of 2016 how the wedding planning is going.... *giggle* It's on Pinterest so far and that's it!)

I think I'll also have a bit more of a break from BATs theatre and ushering too - I've just emailed and let them know, as I think my workload this summer has already gone crazy and I need to ensure everything I'm doing is to the best standard it can be, and that I can be on top of my game for school too!

I signed up for a Religion paper a number of months back as I have 5 papers left for my degree and I figured I would do this 300 level paper and I'd be 20 points (1 paper) closer to graduating. I call it a paper, but really it's a 20 point course. Each course (except for summer school) runs for 12 weeks and then most have an exam at the end. Summer school runs for 6 weeks and some have exams, but most just have an exam in class at the end.

Luckily for me mine has an in-class text thing at the end and not a full on exam, as I'll be finishing this paper and going into Summer Shakespeare mode! I'm the Front of House Manager and loving every moment of it thus far.

Later today I have another meeting with the Production Team (this crew is filled with super amazing and talented people and sometimes I feel like I'm way out of my depth, but they're all really lovely and amazing and helping me out so much.) I'm just super thankful to have such a talented and awesome bunch around me. I went into everything filled with energy and raring to go, and lately with the low iron and health problems I've been less than ideal, and really not on my game!

I'm sure I'll be fine and everything when it comes to show time!

In the meantime, lots and lots of study, lectures and tutorials with my favourite tutor Bruno S. (Oh gosh, I hope he doesn't come across my blog!) haha.

Anyway, back to it. Have something like 100 pages to read for Religion before today's 2:10pm lecture.

xx. Until next time,  Lisa.

2016 Goals and Aims

It's already 2016.
Where did 2015 go? Time sure does fly when you're busy!

For the first half of the year I will have a lot going on, from summer school which starts this week for an intense month of studying...  and then next month Summer Shakespeare shows for two weeks - full time working hard in the Front of House as the FOH Manager.

In March I begin my final half of the year for my final four papers.

For 2016 my goals are:

1. To finish my final 5 papers for my final year of study at VUW. I'm enrolled in a paper for summer which starts tomorrow - I'm excited and nervous to get these final 5 papers done. - I don't know what 2017 will bring - uni will be done and I'll be working!?

2. To lose weight, and this isn't a generic "I'll lose weight because it's New Years" thing, I'm serious.

3. To actually push myself creatively - writing blog posts, photographing for my Instagram, making YouTube videos? Actually doing things regularly to get my creative juices flowing.

And the usual New Years Goals:

• have fun, 
• keep growing my nails out, (2015 and prior every year it was hard to stop biting nails, counseling helped on this one!)
• exploring more of the city,
• learning new skills,
• and learning new things.

According to a bunch of articles, and in particular this online article from 2012, sharing your goals online makes you less likely to actually succeed in doing them.
Weird huh?
I thought if you share your aims and goals that it would mean more people could encourage you in your progress. Apparently this is the opposite effect as sharing means more people are there to push you more, and increasing pressure means you're more likely to fail. So weird!



Some notes:
Goal 2: I went to my doctor in early December 2015 and found that I'm 25kg overweight. My fitness levels are non-existent. I've become addicted to sugar and eating junk food. My BMI is in the 'overweight' category and is on the Obese end. To put it the other way if I gained an extra kg I would be in the Obese category. That freaks me out. This is the wake up call I needed to see that I'm not living a healthy lifestyle right now. I need to work on my fitness levels and get healthier in what I'm using to fuel my body, mind and soul.

Wanderlust, Anxiety and other things on my mind.

Today I have been thinking about my constant feelings of wanderlust it does not seem to matter if I have literally just walked off the plane from a prior trip, I am already dreaming of the next adventure. The next place to go. The next place to explore. Wander. Get lost in. Daniel and I have been fortunate to be able to go travel to some of the most beautiful places around New Zealand and Australia. In my life thus far my parents gave me the wanderlust bug. I can never get enough of going somewhere new and exploring my way around a new town or new city. I am currently living, studying and working in Wellington, New Zealand and it is amazing. Daniel and I have lived here together for the past three years. (I have lived in Wellington for six and a half years now, Daniel has been living here for about seven years.)

During our relationship we have travelled, at least once a year either back home the hour flight back to our families or over to Australia. We have stayed in Melbourne twice with his brother and in a hotel… as well as in the Gold Coast where we have friends who live. Both places are awesome to explore and pretend to be a local in. When I travel I like to live, act and feel, as much as possible, like a local. Visiting local markets, getting fresh food the same way the locals do. Exploring market places. I love markets. You can always find such amazing, one off pieces at markets. Whether they are clothing items, crafted items or food and beverage is another story! Some of my favourite markets include the Queen Victoria Markets of Melbourne, the beachfront markets of the Gold Coast (along Surfer’s Paradise), and the markets throughout Wellington city. The City and Sea Markets down by the waterfront are fun and colourful.

Part of my reasoning for being ‘like a local’ as much as possible is due to the fact that I tend to get annoyed that Tourists have a certain air about them. Of arrogance. Self righteousness. Of wanting things always, done now. I try and be more cool and calm about things. My room is not ready yet? I am happy to sit in the bar and have a drink while I wait. How long will it be? Oh, half an hour. Totally fine. When things go wrong, being nice is the biggest compliment to give. It is so easy to hit the anger switch and break down into tears… Much harder to be the better person who smiles and asks nicely when something will be done. As such I am more likely to find a hotel or accommodation spot which allows me to cook, or bring in any kinds of food I like. I am not big on sitting and eating in a restaurant when I am here in Wellington.

I am a bit socially awkward and find restaurant small talk difficult. I think it comes down to me liking written words more than spoken ones. Good thing I write on a blog each week! I am slightly paranoid in that I do not know who is listening to me, and I do not like the feeling that someone is overhearing me, even when it is an innocent everyday conversation. Strangely I do not have this feeling as much when I am actively teaching a student in the public library, go figure!?

Social Media updates and exciting new ventures.

So, so, much has changed in the past two weeks. 

To be honest it's a bit overwhelming how much life changes; for the better. 

First of all I dusted off my camcorder and started filming a few things for my YouTube channel. You can see the latest things here; Lisa Taylor's YouTube... and on that note - started talking to more local YouTubers on Facebook - slowly gaining followers, can only hope to grow more by recording more and furthering my own skills in editing, recording etcetera.

I see a lot of the local YouTuber's seem to solely do YouTube...
I'm still happy to have Pinterest, Instagram, this blog and Facebook going on. I created a page on Facebook for the Blog and YouTube updates - I'm thinking that I should really make it include the other social media stuff too: instagram, twitter and Snap Chat too. Just literally downloaded Snap Chat again, and I'm really unsure on that app!

Outside of Social Media: I'm teaching more, I have four adult students now. They are all from South Korea which is interesting. Mostly I've taught South Korean's here and a few Chinese people too.

I'm on a break for the year from university. It's exams right now, and I was clever enough to choose a paper which was all internal. I'm waiting on my final essay's grade which should be out by the time the Summer Semester begins.

Over Summer - after Christmas (so January and February), I'll be going crazy with Summer Shakespeare where I'm the Front of House Manager** - no pressure! The team -including me- was featured in Victorious the VUW alumni magazine recently - you can see that article and photo here. Was an awesomely fun photoshoot, and new for me- normally I'm on the other side of the camera and taking videos and such, so it was nice to play Model for an afternoon!

Just have to invoke my inner Queen Bee (Beyonce too!).

In a few weeks I'll be down to the Skeptics Conference again - 

Christchurch you'd better be ready for us! 

I'll be there for a few days with Dan and the local skeptics doing the conference talks 

and recording the podcast... 

IF I remember I'll also film some stuff to upload when we get back.

Music that has me singing along:

Adele's Hello! (2015)
Britney's Work B*  (2013).

Movies I love: 

The Minions movie (2015)
Moulin Rouge (2001)
Harry Potter - all of them (2001-2011)

Don't care that this is also from 2013: Selena's song Come and Get It 

- always makes me dance and sing along!
Also reminds me (fond memories) of working at a job I had for a few weeks when this song first came out and we played it in the store every day, super loud. 

One good thing about having a bit of time off before the craziness of Summer Shakespeare begins, means I have more time to catch up with and see friends...

So friends (yes this is me being my usual dorky, awkward self):  

It also means that YES I'm heading home to Taranaki for Christmas - see you soon New Plymouth!


**NOTE: This is the same page used every year, so in 2016 it will change to the next play for shows in February of the following year. Show dates for Love's Labours Lost are for February 2016.

Hater's gonna hate...

Regan Anne Hillyer's post on Facebook resonated with me when I saw it;
Copied below:

"A NOTE TO THE HATERS: 

Dear haters,

I see you.
Aren’t you glad?
Because that’s what you wanted after all - you wanted to be noticed.
You’re fueled by unhealthy significance.
Every step I take forward you’re running after me, trying to pull me down.
And some of you are my closest friends.
Or, used to be my closest friends?
And I’ve taken some time thinking about you and why all you want is for me to fail.

I need to let you know something first though.

I’m really sorry.
Yes, I’d like to apologise.

I’d like to apologise that I DIDN’T ACTUALLY CONSIDER YOU in my plans!

I know.
It was very selfish of me.

When I was setting goals in my business, I didn’t actually think about you and how it would effect you.

When I was sculpting my body of my dreams, I didn’t actually consider that it may make you feel a little inferior.

When I attracted that awesome partner, I didn’t actually realise that it would highlight the fact that you’re still sad and lonely.

When I started living an incredible lifestyle, I didn’t realise that it would make you jealous that you don’t have the freedom I have.

When I was up at 3am lying in bed dreaming about the incredible future I am creating, you didn’t actually pop into my head!

I’m VERY sorry for not considering you in my plans!

And can I ask though, why do you consider me so much on a daily basis? Actually, don’t answer.
I’ve already got a fair idea…

I’m growing.
I’m shifting.
I’m moving and I’m shaking.
And guess what?
You don’t like it!
You don’t like it one little bit!

In fact, it makes YOU feel SO uncomfortable to see me doing so well.
It makes you feel smaller.
Your mindset is not one of abundance, where everyone can succeed together.
It’s a mindset of scarcity.
A mindset of, if I do well, it must mean that you can’t do well.
It’s a mindset of lack.
A mindset of there never being enough.

So haters, I’d like to send my love to you.
And I’d like to thank you, for fueling my success.
For pushing me to be more, to do more, to have more, to give more.
Thank you for showing me how to turn negativity into positive ammunition.

What was that did you say?
Oh sorry, I can’t hear you.

Cheers to the haters!

P.S - Don’t forget, you absolutely CAN have it all - regardless of what anyone says!"





AND like Taylor Swift says Hater's gonna Hate, so Shake it Off.

Peace. *mic drop*.

Childfree in New Zealand Update from 2013 to now

 Way back in 2013, I wrote this blog post about being Childfree in New Zealand - and it went crazy, was reblogged by a few others and featured on Lance and Amy's website We're (not) having a baby.com

Today I decided to repost it, and add some notes about how life's changed since then...

Childfree Decision

My name is Lisa Taylor. I am now 25 years old. When I was was younger, okay 16 I was dating a guy who had a heart condition. It was so rare he was one of only 2 people in the world who had it. He was also the longest surviving person to have it. In 2006 he died suddenly from his condition.  During that time I had just turned 18 and was thinking about motherhood and what the future would bring for me. While I was mourning for his loss I did wish (so badly) that I was pregnant with his child. Alas it was not meant to be and I remain nullipara to this day.

Later that year I met my second boyfriend, who wanted me to be a mother. During this time I developed severe depression due to my first boyfriend’s sudden death. My doctor put me on suicide watch for a while. After 2 years of living with him and putting up with constant illness and pregnancy alarms I decided I needed to further my own education. I found a university in the capital city, four and a half hours drive away.  I saved up enough money to cover my rent and bond. One day I told him I was leaving for school.

Our long distance relationship lasted a mere 3 months after I left him and my home town. I broke up with him over another pregnancy scare. I decided I wanted to further my life and do the things I wanted.

Today, fast forward 4 years: I am living the childfree life with a childfree boyfriend who loves me for me. He was a fence sitter when I met him, but now he’s as “anti-kids” as I am! Ha! What am I saying? I’m a teacher now, teaching 11-16 year old kids ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages). We both realised that we do like kids, just when they’re a certain age. I find it really hard to talk to or play with kids who are under 10 years old. I just feel so awkward, and it shows! Not to say I didn’t babysit and things like that growing up but, it just feels so weird now.

Being Childfree in New Zealand

Being childfree in New Zealand is a ‘new’ concept for a lot of people. Many people – my family included – are very accepting once they get over the initial shock.  I do get bingos like “You’re so good with kids!”. I actually get the worst responses from medical professionals, because they are generally taught that it’s “normal” to have the life script plan; grow up, meet someone, get married (actually that ones a tricky one in itself, a lot of single parents here!), and have x number of kids.

I’ve been told I’m living my life ‘wrong’ from a doctor. Another doctor told me I’m too young to request getting a Tubal Ligation done… I’m now 25 so I am going to request it when I next see my GP (General Practitioner). I am lucky though, I have plenty of friends here who are either childfree or childless. The one’s I define as childless are those who don’t have children *yet* but do want them.

When I lived back home, in a small town, it’s the normal thing to do to go get pregnant and have two or more kids, with different fathers! Luckily I don’t see that here so much. But it does happen.

Daniel’s Childfree Story

Kiwi Disambiguation

Note: Daniel’s story is in the 3rd person as Lisa elicited it from Daniel.

Daniel is a male from New Zealand. He is 26 years old. He is an elder brother to one sibling. His brother is 6 years younger, and luckily for Daniel their mum did all the “baby chores”. Daniel did have to do some babysitting for his brother.

In high school, Daniel knew he had three life path options. His first was the usual, find a partner and have children (or not). His second path was to become a scientific genius in some hardcore career; he would have no time for romance, because he’d be working so many hours in some kind of lab! Daniel’s third path was the one he avoided but it did seem like an only option at one stage: to be forever alone.

Daniel always knew he had the choice of having kids, or not. There was no decision to sway one way over the other. He said if he was going to have kids, he would have kids. The same for not having kids; if it didn’t happen, it didn’t happen. Although without kids he has more freedom and definitely hates the idea of “child chores” especially baby chores. Being childfree means never having to change nappies, or feed a screaming child. Financial reasons never came into the decision of being childfree. Although having a child would mean the financial burden of paying for a nanny who would be looking after said kid for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!

Daniel’s future plans? Freedom, freedom, and more freedom. He doesn’t have exact plans for the future. But he suggested that if he wanted to travel, he could. He would travel the world, staying in 5 star luxury adult-only resorts.

Q&A

Lisa: Who do you get on better with – kids or adults? Why? 

Daniel: Probably adults. Because adults can hold more rational conversations.

Lisa: What are your views on reproductive choice in New Zealand? Is it easy to access contraceptives? Is long-term contraception, i.e. vasectomy, easy to obtain?

Daniel: It’s pretty easy to get condoms in New Zealand; You can get them from the supermarket, chemist/pharmacy or your doctor or you can get them on prescription from your doctor. $5 (NZD) is 6 months worth of the pill, or 144 condoms (12 packets). Long-term contraception? I’m not sure. I don’t want to get a vasectomy yet. I know you [Lisa] want to get a tubal ligation. Your body, your choice. It’s quite hard to get it for a woman though, they make them jump through so many hoops. I hear it’s easier for a guy to get it [vasectomy] done.

Lisa: Is it easier to be childfree if you’re male or female? Why?

Daniel: I think it’s easier as a guy. I wouldn’t know what it is like as a female anyway. I guess societal pressure is higher on a female. There’s no pressure on me as a male to be married and have children. Or be a stay at home mother. Unlike for you [Lisa], you’re asked at the doctor’s how many children you have…there’s so much pressure on you from society. I guess us guys don’t get this pressure on us.

Lisa: If you had a child right now with Lisa, how would your life be different? How would your relationship be different? Why? 

Daniel: First of all there would be more financial worry, we would have to feed, clothe, and school the kid. There would be the costs of doctors and dentists. We would also have the real possibility of Lisa’s mental health getting worse. Her and her mum have a history of depression, so it would be very likely that Lisa would get post-natal depression. This would add to the financial strain, as she would need medical help for it.

I would have to be acting in a more responsible way! [Lisa comment: Dan is actually a really responsible guy. He’s being modest!] I also might have to learn how to drive a car – so I could help out with the “school run”. [Lisa comment: Dan doesn’t drive, Lisa does all the driving, and they don’t own a car – they live in the city and don’t need one.] We also potentially couldn’t live where we do, as we live in an apartment. It’s small – 2 bedrooms and has no real outdoors area (does a balcony count?). Lisa suggested we would probably need to buy somewhere in the suburbs, so we would have a backyard and all that crap. That being said, we are currently about 5 blocks walk from a local primary school. In the next suburb over is a local high school. And across the street is a university campus! So in terms of schooling, it’s not a bad location!

Lisa: In New Zealand there’s a huge focus on family being the number 1 thing. Do you think we should be talking about the childfree choice in sex education classes in high schools? Should churches embrace it as an option? Why?

Daniel: Churches aim at family groups so they can increase their membership numbers – if you convince one, you get a group of them. Right? childfree people only have one or two people, tops.  I think Sex Ed. classes should talk about being childfree as a choice. It would invoke debate and may open the minds of young people in school. They might also encourage them to think outside the ‘natalist’ box.

So how have our lives changed since 2013??? 
Today life is a little different...

I'm now 27, Dan is 29. We are still together and we celebrated our 4 year anniversary together earlier this year. We are still living together in the same apartment we had just moved into at the writing of the original blog post.

For me at least the doctor's bingoes haven't really changed much - I am still having trouble getting long term contraception that won't be easily reversed. I have been pushing to get long term contraception for well over ten years now... It is crazy. (Oh how easy it is for men here!) I did get a copper IUD put in last year, which is working well for the moment at least. Some people haven't been so impressed with how vocal I am about sexual and reproductive health - so my blog posts about my IUD being put in etc wasn't taken well by some! I've also had contact with Family Planning New Zealand about a blog style review of various methods I've used over the years, however seeing as I've only used 3 things in my life - I have this awkward "am I even qualified to speak about this" feeling going on. We will see what comes out of it anyway because it may not ever get off the ground as an idea here.

I have gotten myself a good set of doctors now who are very helpful and accepting of us not having children, so that is a big bonus. Of course there is still a general consensus of child rearing being the norm. However more couples are childfree now which may be partially to do with the fact that society is more open about and accepting of fertility and such issues as well. Statistics New Zealand figures also show that not having children is on the rise.

I'm still teaching ESOL - but not with the language school kids any more.
I now teach adults, doing lessons one on one.

I have also returned to university where I've just applied for my final year of study - all going well I will be graduating in a little over 18 months time.

Personally I've removed myself from a lot of the Childfree groups on Facebook, for a couple of reasons - one being there was a lot of negativity in there and that is not me. I'm all about agreeing to disagree with people, rather than fighting to lose friendships. I'd much rather be civil and disagree on things but still keep talking with people. Family and friends aren't worth losing over a small disagreement.

Some things I've learned on my journey thus far:
1. You have no guarantees when you're old that your children will be there for you. Kids grow into adults with their own lives, jobs and worries. They can forget about their family sometimes.

2. Modern day medical expectations on women (at least) still revolve around families, baby making is the aim for doctors when you see them for any kind of reproductive issue. Mine happens to be relatively simple with super irregular bleeding patterns - everything I've looked into for treating it has an end game goal of pregnancy. No thanks!

3. There's a rising number of Childfree people in the world. But somehow they're always seen as being these negative characteristics. It makes me sad.
I am not selfish, up myself, immature, irrational, unable to take care of myself/ my family...
I chose not to procreate for my own reasons. They're personal and I shouldn't need to justify myself to you. (As a parent you're not questioned over why you're having a child, so why would you question me in this manner?)

4. Women will hate on other women, just because.
Whether it be that they don't agree on their religion, their childrearing choices, or lack of children being had... or not wearing make-up ... women need to stop hating on each other.
It sucks.
Please stop.
You're an adult, as such you're not in high school now!
(That last one's mean to the high schoolers who don't hate on each other. - As such I apologise.)

Everything is awesome

This week's blog post is inspired in part by the Lego Movie - and the catchy theme song Everything is Awesome.*

I've been thinking about how things in life go through stages of being really awesome, and really challenging... Today though I want to focus on the positive and happy awesome things in my life. Things I'm thankful for, if you will.

1. Friends and Family.
They're always there for you no matter the weather and no matter what's going on in your life (and their lives too).

2. The haters.
Yeah, you know the ones, those naysayers who just want to see you fail. Well newsflash - nothing you do or say can bring me down. That bad attitude shows who you are - not me.
Even those people who are dragging others into their fight just to prove how cool/awesome/famous/wannabe they are - is just not cool.

3. The ones who look up to me...
Gosh, it's strange to think I have people who look up to me, but it's true. Everyone influences everyone around them; Negativity gains more negativity - but only if you let it!
The first time I realised the kids in my class looked up to me was the weirdest feeling, but then it made sense - I'd done the same thing to my favourite teachers at school too. One kid telling you that you're the best teacher is an amazing feeling. - Especially when you're not expecting it, and it happens to happen on a bad day!

4. Hot chocolate on a cold winter's day while watching movies, or trashy TV.

5. A crackling fire on said cold winter's day.

6. Summertime's at the beach. Ah, bring on the warm weather. I'm getting over winter already.





*You can thank me later for getting that stuck in your head too. Heh.

English 348 Awkward Books 2015

So this year I've gone back to university to continue with my BA in English Literature.
I decided to do a paper called Awkward Books. It's a 300 level English paper taught through Victoria University in Wellington. You may remember way back at the start of this blog when I wrote about doing Pacific Literature at VUW, and that study has continued to this day.

How I organise stuff and a birthday shout out.

Happy Birthday for tomorrow for my little brother Chris!

 What's a birthday without candles and an embarrassing picture of you from when you were young?!

Double trouble, so cute!

A little insight into my calendar

So normally I post about things going on, this week I've been thinking about my Diary and how filled it has been getting. I don't normally share such details - but here goes.

I work as a volunteer in a local theatre (BATS theatre) as an usher/ ticket taker/ fire warden, it's rewarding and hugely enjoyable. Since the Comedy Festival is on at the moment*, the shifts I do have increased. I'm seeing at least one or two shows each night, and having a blast. It's great fun. The past week I've taken off though just doing one night as I had an assignment due for the university paper I'm taking. This is all good for mental health too - I'm doing even better with groups of people and face to face customer enquiries. I used to panic, but I'm getting there. It's also gotten to the point that people there recognise me and address me by name, which is awesome! I'm so happy.

Talking of assignments - I've been doing the ENGL348 paper at Victoria University, Awkward Books. I'm loving it. I'm going to write a blog post about it at some other stage to talk about it in depth.

On top of University study and BATS theatre stuff, I'm also recording on the Podcast for Skepticism Today we're up to episode 10, it's well worth the catch up.

I'm California Dreamin' in reflection to Dan's job options for the future... My pinterest is now filled with more and more San Francisco related things... I'm just a tad obsessed. haha. Don't worry though I still have love for NZ and other things too.

Throw back image to when I had Cyclamen inside. Sadly these baby plants have died now...

 and the owls are in the kitchen now.

Quote for the week:
"Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right."
– Henry Ford.

* The comedy Festival has literally just finished. It was a great time.

I got 99 questions....

QUESTIONS:
1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed! Who leaves them open?
2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? A few times. 
3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Untucked, so I can put my leg out when I'm too hot.
4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before? Haha, yes. Tracee!
5:Do you like to use post-it notes? No.
6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? No, not a fan of coupons either.
7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Bees. Although Mum's allergic so I'd probably safer with the bear attacking me. LOL.
8:Do you have freckles? I used to, not so much now.
9:Do you always smile for pictures? No.
10:What is your biggest pet peeve? Breaking a nail.
11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Yes. Hah. I'm kinda OCD about stuff like that.
12:Have you ever peed in the woods? Actually, yeah, I think so?
13:What about pooped in the woods? No.
14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Yes. Haha. I'm a goof like that.
15:Do you chew your pens and pencils? Yes. Bad habit.
16:How many people have you slept with this week? One. 
17:What size is your bed? King size.
18:What is your Song of the week? Dear Future Husband
19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yes.
20:Do you still watch cartoons? Haha. Yes. 
21:Whats your least favorite movie? Titanic.
22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? In a secret hiding spot.
23:What do you drink with dinner? Water, sometimes wine, sometimes milk.
24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Sweet and sour sauce.
25:What is your favorite food? Sushi. Or Mystery Food. (Food I've made and then forgotten to label when freezing it!)
26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Lolita. A Walk to Remember. Moulin Rouge.
27:Last person you kissed/kissed you? Daniel. :)
28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Yes. Girl Guide, then Ranger... Then young leader, teaching Pippins.
29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? No.
30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? A week ago. I love getting mail!
31:Can you change the oil on a car? I could...
32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Nope.
33:Ever ran out of gas? Nope.
34:Favorite kind of sandwich? Peanut butter and jam, or something healthy like a salad with hummus.
35:Best thing to eat for breakfast? Porridge.
36:What is your usual bedtime? I don't know.
37:Are you lazy? For some things yes.
38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Didn't celebrate Halloween, as it's not a thing in NZ.
39:What is your Chinese astrological sign? Dragon.
40:How many languages can you speak? Three. Four if you count sign language!
41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No.
42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Lego!
43:Are you stubborn? Yes...
44:Who is better...Leno or Letterman? Letterman. Can't stand Leno.
45:Ever watch soap operas? Yes.
46:Are you afraid of heights? No.
47:Do you sing in the car? Always. haha.
48:Do you sing in the shower? I try not to.
49:Do you dance in the car? Yes.
50:Ever used a gun? Yes, but it's weird, we don't have them here in NZ.
51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? In August about 2 years ago.
52:Do you think musicals are cheesy? No way.
53:Is Christmas stressful? Yes....
54:Ever eat a pierogi? No, never heard of it.
55:Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple. 
56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Teacher. 
57:Do you believe in ghosts? No.
58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Nope. 
59:Take a vitamin daily? Nope. They just make expensive pee.
60:Wear slippers? Yes. I do this. It's my one 'old person' trait. hah. Not saying that's bad!
61:Wear a bath robe? Yes. 
62:What do you wear to bed? At the moment an old tshirt, I wish I had something nicer.
63:First concert? Probably INXS?
64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? We don't have Walmart here in NZ, I've been to Target in Melbourne, and KMart in NZ is weird to find too.
65:Nike or Adidas? Nike.
66:Cheetos Or Fritos? Neither. We don't have them in NZ. I've never tried either of them?
67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts.
68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Nope.
69:Ever take dance lessons? Yes. I did Ceroc in high school... and I did jazz, contemporary dance when I was in primary school.
70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Something he wants to do. 
71:Can you curl your tongue? Yes.
72:Ever won a spelling bee? Don't recall winning, but definitely was in one. 
73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes.
74:Own any record albums? No.
75:Own a record player? No.
76:Regularly burn incense? Not any more.
77:Ever been in love? Yes, who hasn't?
78:Who would you like to see in concert? The Spice Girls, haha. I never got to see them all perform back in the day.
79:What was the last concert you saw? Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.
80:Hot tea or cold tea? Hot. But in summer I love iced tea too.
81:Tea or coffee? Tea. Every time.
82:Sugar or snickerdoodles? Neither.
83:Can you swim well? Yes. Have rescued someone too.
84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Is this a serious question?
85:Are you patient? Not always.
86:DJ or band, at a wedding? Band.
87:Ever won a contest? Yes, I named the mascot for a local bus company. I'll post a picture of the vote below too.
88:Ever have plastic surgery? Nope. 
89:Which are better black or green olives? Green.
90:Can you knit or crochet? I learned how to knit but I haven't done it in years.
91:Best room for a fireplace? Lounge.
92:Do you want to get married? Yes. Some day.
93:If married, how long have you been married? See Question 92.
94:Who was your HS crush? Mike, he passed away in year 13 though, he was 17. :(
95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? If I'm tired or over hungry this is more likely to happen.
96:Do you have kids? Nope.
97:Do you want kids? Nope.
98:Whats your favorite color? Coral pink peachy colours at the moment.
99:Do you miss anyone right now? Yes.



I won the mascot naming competition back in 2011. 
I won a return bus pass to/from any destination.